.Saturday, November 14, 2009 ;
11:53 PM
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I'll be waiting .
it feels like i am alone... wanting to go blind and deaf so i wont really have to see or hear anything... finding another part-time job now..quite sianz though so many opportunities but i just seem invisible, i dont want the always be left out, always asking myself why? the answer is always the same, people just dont care... it is already said i always tio pangseh, a little is okay but if it keeps happening/ repeating even getting pangseh also will sian one it seems people who are close to me dont seem to really know what is happening or they just dont care...i want to know that people still care but with these events i cant really say im fine... i just wnana go deaf now so i dont have to hear things that arent meant for me to hear...
i just want to hold those dear to me close but it seems its just floating away, i care too much about other people but do they do the same? yes, no, maybe...
if there are really such thing as hope and miracles, why arent they happening? i have been hoping for a long time now, nothing seems to be happening, i have tried over and over again, i just want things to go back to when it was all laugh and no sadness, it seems impossible now...
i still remember just last year around this time... i made the worst mistake of my life and regretted, i was forgiven but for how long?...those were fun times we had but it wasnt meant to last was it?...right now i regretted the many mistakes i made...there is nothing i can do at all to bring it back so confused at life...cant wait for my life to end... all the sadness and loneliness gone all disappeared and gone for good...
